


A Beloved Disappoints Me

by likelike_love



Category: In Plain Sight
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-08-19
Updated: 2012-08-19
Packaged: 2017-11-12 11:43:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 177
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/490517
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/likelike_love/pseuds/likelike_love
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sad pants poem from Mary's POV.  Allusions to Pa Shannon, Marshall.</p>
            </blockquote>





	A Beloved Disappoints Me

**Author's Note:**

> [Originally posted](http://mary-marshall.livejournal.com/290662.html)
> 
> on mary_marshall.livejournal.com on March 31, 2010 as a part of the 1st Annual Month of Mayhem.

A beloved disappoints me.  
I speak to him.  
Impossible he should not

reply by saying what I  
have said to myself  
in his name.

The debt of the one  
desired (far corner of  
a crib, a room, an unforgotten

not-father) is as wide as  
the visible horizon  
as great as

desire itself.  
To accept that  
he is other than

first comforter,  
certain shelter,  
exclusively

mine  
is to concede,  
to admit all covenenants

are broken  
at the moment they  
are made.

The only truth of  
the beginning.

\---

The past breaking out  
in my heart: the text  
yields, work and wonder

with the interpreter, pain  
mine. I sleep entire  
days away, I wait

for nothing. The invisible  
realms were not formed in love  
but in fear. Fear and desire.

Across from each  
other in a  
closed room

I sit rigid,  
reclaimed. I  
am iron, or ice.

He  
is saying "grace  
will fill empty

spaces, create possibility  
of ascendance, or  
acceptance." I

am silent, my body  
in deepest sleep,  
my body still

as self  
accelerates  
toward what

never  
stops hurting.


End file.
